Feelings are an important aspect of our lives but the trouble is many of us have been brought up to ignore and override feelings. Childhood messages have a great role in contributing to this state of mind. We feel guilty if we express our feelings of anger, shame, guilt and annoyance. We are afraid that … More Feelings

Approval not needed

Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, being nothing” ~Aristotle The need for approval kills freedom. It usually starts out as a logical tactic. We gain others’ approval, make them happy for a moment, and feel pretty good about ourselves. It seems like the perfect path to take — and … More Approval not needed

Men have feelings too

Men have feelings too, however they often refuse to acknowledge them, much less talk about them. Emotions, negative thoughts and weaknesses may be expressed as anger but if feelings are not dealt with they can have a long term damaging effects. Some people have the preconceived notion that men simply do not have feelings. This … More Men have feelings too

The critical inner voice

Critical Inner voice and self-loathing is that underlying feeling that we are just not good: not good enough, not good at this, not good at that, not good at – or for –much of anything. It can be subtle, we may habitually compare ourselves to others, for instance, constantly finding fault with ourselves and putting … More The critical inner voice

No one knows how you feel, when you pretend to be okay

At the end of #antibullying week, a be#kind reminder. Someone can be secretly battling painful thoughts and emotions that no one knows nothing about, carrying untold feelings of hurt and sadness whilst pretending they are fine and that’s just how they try to cope. It’s not helpful when others judge or assume they know what’s … More No one knows how you feel, when you pretend to be okay

Dealing with Toxic Shame

Shame of the toxic type can be one of the most damaging of human emotions. The inner critic (the voice in our head) has the power to convince you that all the critical thoughts you have about yourself is right — for example, the critic that says “you’re not good enough”, “I knew you’d get … More Dealing with Toxic Shame